Somehow I caused a lot of trouble at the Republican County Caucus for the 41st district in Washington state on Saturday, March 9, where delegates are elected to the state Republican convention. I caused one caucus to be declared illegal after 9 hours of caucusing, immediately after which another caucus was convened, which was legal (I guess). I was just trying to help!

I should mention a month or so ago, while I was out of town, there were the republican precinct caucuses. My wife somehow got me elected, while I was gone, as a delegate to the county convention. And since I have sent Ron Paul money, the RPR crew were on me like white on rice, and urged me to follow through, and attend the county caucus to push for Ron Paul candidates.

First a couple of definitions: a "slate" is a list of candidates some group of people wants to put forward for election. Roberts Rules of Order (RRO) are the rules under which the meeting is conducted. A district caucus convention is how people pick the delegates to the state convention, and from there on to the Republican National Convention, which is being held in I believe Nuremberg, Germany this year. As to the two factions at this convention Saturday, let's call them status quo republicans (SQR) Ron Paul Republicans (RPR).

Now this legislative district is important to republicans, because it is the only other republican district on the west coast of USA out side of Orange County California, and in the next census, a new district will be created next door to the 41st, and whomever controls this district is likely to "own" the new one when it is formed.

A few days before the caucus, Ron Paul announced he was winding down his campaign (not ending) and the RPR called a meeting to discuss strategy. My wife and I attended, at her insistence. Essentially the RPR put together a slate of 33 RPR’s who offered to represent the 41st district at the state convention in Spokane. Certainly the SQR already had their slate of 33 determined. A discussion ensued as to whether the RPR group would move forward openly or try to finesse their way in. It was decided finesse was best.

I left the meeting with uneasiness. I prefer to be very open about my views.
Come Saturday morning, I joined 300 other people at the republican district caucus. The caucus opened the pledge of allegiance and a prayer thanking God for George Bush and his “visions” (yes, visions, plural. It was all very weird.) The temporary leadership was elected as caucus leadership and a quick mention was made from the dais that everyone should vote for the SQR slate and ignore the RPR slate.

The chair asked how many people had never been to a convention before, and I’d guess 260 people raised their hands. It was remarked at how this proved the dynamism of the republican party.

Nominations were made to add people to the list of about 100 candidates for delegates to the state convention. The chairwoman was spelling-and-hearing-challenged. so I found myself helping out by standing regularly to shout out proper pronunciations and spellings of the names of the people nominated. This becomes important in a minute.

After all of the nominees were on the ballot, the chairman called for a vote. This was strange, nobody knew any of the candidates, almost everyone was new to the system, and this the SQR slate would naturally win all of the seats.

A young woman stood up to make a speech recommending people vote for her, and she was ruled out of order.

Now, I was looking to break with the RPR’s plan to be discrete, I wanted to get up, ask people to vote for me so since I am antiwar, small government (very, very small) sound currency, pro-life, etc.

My thought was since the republican party stands for perpetual war, massive government, debased currency and anti-life, I wanted to be voted out so I could go home and drink.

I stood and called the chairwoman on a point of order, asking when we could propose speeches before the vote. She said “no.” Just “no!” So I switched to point of interruption, to press my point as is proper in roberts rules of order, and got shouted down “no” from the dais. No? Well I kept at it, until a sargeant-at-arms signalled me to stop (palm down, four fingers across the throat, back and forth) and I figured if they sic the sargeants-at-arms on me, it’s over anyway.

The first of four secret votes in the day took place, each taking about an hour and half to count. And with no speeches, the first seventeen of 33 people with enough votes to be elected to go to Spokane were all from the SQR slate.

In the meantime a young fellow in a suit came up and tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to step to the back of the conference hall. I assumed I was going to be asked to leave, something for which I was eager.

He pointed out by shouting me down the chairwomen had violated the Roberts rules of order, and the convention at this point was illegal. Yes, of course. He turned out to be a RPR operative, and we discussed responses.

The second vote was taken. Again mostly SQR were elected, but a funny thing happened... I got elected as a delegate to the state convention too, with the SQR slate! What?! No?! How can this be? Nobody knows me. I suspect my helping out with spelling earlier, and my attempt to allow speeches gained me unintended support.

About half the crowd left after that, I suspect rather disillusioned with the rigged process.

In the interim times, elected officials came to make speeches, assuring us they were for goods things and against bad things.

As the hours droned on, the final result was 28 SQR were elected as delegates to Spokane, and a total of 5 RPR, one being me. At this point there were about 25 RPR facing down about 25 SQR, since everyone else had gotten bored and left.

The chairwoman thanked everyone for their hard work and was about to adjourn the meeting, when I jumped up and made a point of order, noted that the convention was illegal due to failure to follow the Roberts Rules of Order, and that there would be a legal convention in the North Parking lot in five minutes, to which everyone was invited. Silence. Adjournment. Hard looks Convention in the parking lot. RPR slate of 33 delegates legally elected to state convention. We all went home.

This will cause a credentials fight that the state party will have to deal with. (I am a delegate either way!)

Funny thing... driving home I felt bad for the SQR... they want no one else in their party. They truly believe in George Bush and his visions. They took the time and effort to rig the system so no one else can get in. Fair enough. All I was trying to do was to get voted down and out so I could leave. And then they cheated me directly, by not following even their own rules. Arrrgghh... I am obliged to object to that. So I did, and what a mess. Now I have to go to Spokane, where serious party hacks will see to it I am eliminated quickly and fairly from their rigged system, they way it should be. They have nice microbreweries in Spokane.

I lamented to my wife about this sorry turn of events, and I remonstrated with her for getting me involved. Why, I asked? She said got me elected to find me someone else besides herself to discuss politics. I bore her with my political views. I was hurt.

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