Occasionally I get asked that question by a prospective student, and it is difficult to answer, for the questioner has trapped himself.
So I answer, “I would not wish my life on a dog.”
Usually, this startles my questioner. But but but...
Then I follow up “But I would not trade my life for anyone else's.”
And that is absolutely true. I certainly envy some people’s talent, this singer, that athlete, here an artist, that cook, but never would I trade places. And even if I had their talent, I would not use it in the way they do, so what would be the point? They do wonderful things with their talent, and I wouldn’t do what they do. The Bible says something about being happy with your portion.
And then, how do you explain to anyone who does not have the gift of ADD/ADHD that you have the finest gift God can bestow on a human, short of salvation itself? It is cruel to tell people who do not have this gift that you have it, and they will never have it, this side of the parousia.
You see, the questioner wants to judge my “success” not by my standards, or his standards, by a third standard, accumulation of things. Do I have a waterfront home, do I have nice cars, a boat on the dock, a summer place, do I have this and that, do I golf, etc.
I hesitate to answer directly because of the assumptions:
1. That those things are my idea of success. That any “successful” people care about those things.
2. That if I had those things, I could show others how to get those things. That is delusional. One person’s path is like no others.
3. That copying someone else is a way forward. This denies that an individual has creative options. It is an escape from responsibility.
And all for what? More stuff?
A better question than are you successful is “are you happy?”
To this question I can honestly and unhesitatingly answer, “Hell no. War, bailouts, disease, fascism, rotten medicine, illegal search and seizure, porn, torture, spying, poverty, it all makes me sick.”
Yikes, then who would want to learn anything from me?
Because I find joy in working on solutions to all of those problems. it is exactly the problems that give us an opportunity to make the world a better place. Ourselves.
We have wine. The next valley over has none. Problems: barrelling wine for travel, making barrells, making carts to carry wine, clearing roads over the pass, raising oxen to pull the wagon, making wagons, new clothes for 3 season travel. Trade is solutions to problems, being aware of the problems, and experiencing the pain of realizing gthe problems, is the way forward.
Somebody who asks if I am successful is heading in exactly the opposite direction. They do not want to solve problems, they want to store up stuff. There is no possible way I’ll ever head in that direction, and it is dicey they will ever want to go where I am going. So when I am asked “are you successful,?’ I cringe. Some people have been turned around, sure. But many just want more.
There are some people whose orientation is to figure out where they can position themselves to take. Like politicians. Michael Lewis wrote Liar’s Poker, a cautionary tale of how Wall Street works, and he was astonished to get so many people, smart people at top schools, who missed the point and wanted to know how to get a job doing what Lewis regretted.
I just tell them the class will save them time and money getting to where they would get anyway. Nothing more nothing less. Whatever definition they have for success, they’ll get there faster at less cost. That’s all i can do. Is that worth more than what anyone might pay? For 25 years the answer has been yes. I keep treaching becuase people keep saying thanks.
Feel free to forward this by email to three of your friends.
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