Smoked Whitefish and State Provision

A fellow walks into a butcher and orders a pound of smoked whitefish. The butcher says “sure thing” and begins to open a can of Alpo dog food. The customer wonders why.  The butcher slaps the Alpo on paper, wraps it up and says “one pound of smoked whitefish, $5000 please.”

The customer is perplexed.  That’s Alpo, not smoked whitefish.  And $5000?  Doesn’t smoked whitefish go for about $10 a pound, maximum?  Where to start with an objection?

“Um..., that is Alpo. not smoked whitefish...” says the customer.

“Are you telling me my business?” replies the butcher.  I’ve been at this for 30 years, and I have all of the certifications to achieve master status.  If I say it is smoked whitefish, it is smoked whitefish...”

Not wanting to get into an argument the customer switches tack: “But $5000, isn’t that a bit much? 

“It’s for the children, “ says the butcher, “you get what you pay for, and for the children you want the best.  And do you know what it takes in terms of regulators, inspectors and testing to assure the quality and purity of the smoked whitefish?”

The customer says "But it's not smo---" and is cut off by the angry glare of the butcher.

"OK" says the customer, "you'll agree that this "smoked whitefish" right here was never inspected, right?"

"Well, of course" says the butcher,  "the regulators cannot check everything, and if there was a problem in this case, it would just mean we need more inspectors and regulations."

This is in essence the scenario played out whenever the state provides some good or service.  Whether medicine, education, roads, defense, housing, criminal justice, it is always a version of this story.

And with the state, the story gets even stranger, unrecognizable in the real world.  For example in the story above, the customer may say, “No thank you, I’ve changed my mind.”

Under state provision, the butcher would say “Too late, you have already been taxed for the ‘smoked whitefish’ (Alpo), so you have to take this.”

And the customer may reply “Forget it, I’ll make my own...”

And the butcher will say, “Either way, you’ll still pay for this, plus you’ll pay for what you make yourself.”

And if enough people start making their own smoked whitefish, the state makes it illegal.

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